A Moment to Breathe

I want to run but there’s nowhere to flee.

I’m stuck somewhere between who I was and who I should be.

I see the path so clearly—

the one that’s meant to set me free,

but I just can’t seem to grab reach.

I want to feel free.

I want to feel free.

I want to feel like who I’m supposed to be.

I want to walk the path my girls can follow after me,

but I don’t even know who I’m supposed to be.

I want to run and scream.

Why can’t I step into this path chosen for me.

I have to cook and clean,

and be everything they hope to be.

I’m losing control of me.

I need to run and scream,

but that’s not what they deserve from me,

so I stay here,

barely keeping control of me—

struggling to make sense of these pieces of me—

the pieces I say that don’t even please.

This is not how it’s supposed to be.

I’m supposed to be everything they need me to be,

what I want from me.

I can’t get control of me,

so fuck it,

I’ll just roll this weed.